Nicaragua

I can't believe that in 5 months I will be in Nicaragua! Am I scared out of my mind? Yes, but lately I have been feeling more at peace about everything. The power is prayer is AMAZING. This time right now seems weird because all my friends are moving to college soon. I just have to remind myself/pray that God has placed me on a different path.  I have heard the song "Trust and Obey" a lot at church the past couple of weeks. I feel that this song is God speaking to me reminding me to trust and obey HIS will for my life and not mine. He is going to use this four months to do immeasurably more than all I could EVER ask or imagine. I'm excited to see what he has in store!

As far as planning goes, I have sent my support letters out and will be purchasing my plane ticket soon (they are pretty cheap right now). I know that God will provide the money, but the amount I need to raise seems scary. AND, with God ANYTHING is possible. 

A lot of people have asked: "What are you doing until you leave?" The answer to that question is: continuing to work at the doctor's office scanning records and doing whatever they need me to. I am also babysitting 2 kids about 20 hours a week. I am so excited to start working with them! I'm so thankful for the passion that God has placed in my heart to work with kids. 

I have also had a lot of people ask, "What are you doing when you get back?" Lets just say: I don't know what the future holds, but I know WHO holds the future. I know that in HIS time he will reveal the next step to me. To be honest, I haven't really thought about it yet because I know God WILL provide. 

Thank You for all the prayers and support this far! It means a lot to me. 

Go out and be a blessing!!

Love, 

Mallory

Prayer

I've heard this before and I love it.
God's 3 answers to your prayers:
1. Yes.
2. Not Yet.
3. I have something better in mind.

This is hard to keep in mind when we want a prayer answered right away. I love the thought when the answer is that he has something better in mind.  ^"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" Ephesians 3:20-21. I have been blown away at what God is doing in my life lately. When Rachel told me she was going to Nicaragua for 4 months I said I will never go there or anywhere for that long because I couldn't do it. Never say never..because I'm going! God has quite the sense of humor. God is always at work doing amazing things in our lives. We just need to take a break from our schedules and listen to what God is saying to us.

Orientation

Today I start Orientation to prepare for going to Nicaragua. Yes-I don't leave until January, but they only have this orientation once a year. I'm a little nervous for the orientation, but it will be really nice to meet people that are doing the same thing as me. I know that we are all in the same boat, which is nice. I'm excited to meet new people today.
It is seeming more real all the time that I'm actually going. It's very exciting yet scary all at the same time. I know this is where God is leading me, and that needs to be my comfort. NO listening to satan (which is WAY easier said than done). I can't wait to see what God has in store for me there.

Forgiveness

It's so hard to forgive someone that's done something so harsh to you. It's especially hard when they don't think they've done anything to hurt you. God calls us to forgive others because he has forgiven us. He died on the cross for OUR sins so that we could have eternal life. The question is, what if someone has done something to you that has deeply hurt you but they don't realize it. Do you still go to that person and tell them you forgive them when they don't even think they've done anything wrong?

God's Leading

Through prayers and other situations, I have made a decision to go to Nicaragua next year to work in a school. This is, assuming that everything with fundraising and CRWM works out. I feel that God is leading me there, so I can't freak out about the money aspect of it. God is IN CONTROL..not me. I am beyond excited to see how God is going to use me there. Not going to lie, I'm scared to go there because it's an unfamilar place that I know not much about, but I am also excited to see what it has in store. This is an opportunity that it going to make me grow a lot. Satan hates the fact that I'm going there and wants me to doubt that it's where I'm supposed to be. I know though, that God is BIGGER!! When doubt comes, the most important thing is to look to God for peace in the decision I've made. This is way out of my comfort zone but when you go of it, you aren't living in your own little "secure" world and it's where you tend to grow the most.

I know this post is all over the place, but basically, I'm beyond excited for this opportunity to spend five months there and to see what God has in store. God's got everything under control and once again-HE is in control NOT me.

God Bless!

Grace

God's grace is such an awesome thing. It covers every part of us no matter the situation. I never really thought about the lyrics of the song "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band until it  was brought to my attention. There is a line that goes, "If grace is an ocean we're all sinking" It's so true!! We are drowning in grace because it covers us no matter the situation. What a great God we serve! It's awesome to see how he works.

Nicaragua

I have so many mixed emotions. I got accepted to go to Nicaragua and work in a school there. I'm praying for guidance from God to lead me where he wants me. I don't want to get wrapped up in my plans because HIS plan is perfect. The thought of being away for 5 months is scary, but then I have the comfort of God being right there with me. He will never leave me. With God-I CAN do it. I will be making a decision if I'm going or not soon. Praying praying praying!!!

Comfort

I love the book of Psalms so much! It is so comforting. Psalm 4:7-8 says, "You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." This makes me think of nights when I can't sleep and I just start to pray. God gives us peace in situations that we don't think around possible. When I've gotten asked to do things that are far out of my comfort zone, like reading 20 verses in front of church, I have felt so much peace. It's the most amazing thing ever. God is so good and gives us what we need when we need it. What an awesome God we serve!

Joy

                        https://twitter.com/#!/ryanflynn/media/slideshow?url=http%3A%2F%2Finstagr.am%2Fp%2Fg0IMQ%2F

I find this quote to be very true. When we compare ourselves to others we will never be satisfied and we get down because we don't have what they do. I just need to remind myself all the time "The JOY of the Lord is my strength." When we constantly hear something, we tend to believe it (usually the negative things and lies). What if we instead repeated this over and over to ourselves throughout the day?Our Joy then may overflow for everyone to see how much we love the Lord.

Winter Retreat

This past weekend I went on a winter retreat with my youth group. It was a refreshing/uplifting experience. The speaker we had did a great job and God really used him to show me a lot of things. I was talking to someone this past Friday how we need to "Love the Lord your God with all heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength...and love your neighbor as yourself." At the retreat on Saturday the speaker was talking about how we need to do this. Then at church last night the pastor in his sermon was talking about how we need to do this. This is something my youth pastor would call a "God Smack." I've really been challenged with this over the past month and I definitely needed this smack because it's been hard.

Another "God Smack" I experienced this past weekend was on the topic of worry. It was brought up on Saturday and two times on Sunday. How God has a plan for our lives and we need to go where God wants us not where we want. We may fall flat but God has a purpose for you being where he put you. It's usually not what we have in mind. God has a different plan. "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9. I worry a lot about where I'm going to be this fall and what I'll be doing. It freaks me out because it seems like a lot of people know. Instead of wasting my time worrying, I need to give it to God, trust and have complete faith that he will take care of me and that he has a plan. HIS timing-not mine.
I am truly blessed to be able to have such a great experience where God was so evident. To God ALONE be the Glory!!!

Peace

I have been pushed out of my comfort zone a lot in the past couple weeks and it has been over the top good for me. I have also felt so much peace in those situations and it's amazing. When I think of peace it reminds me of Multnomah Falls in Oregon where I visited this past summer. I'll tease you with a picture of it:

http://www.city-data.com/articles/Hometown-of-Multnomah-Falls-Oregon-on.html

This is one of the most peaceful places I've been. So amazing. The peace felt from God is even greater than this and that I am so thankful for. God wants peace for his people, so I hope you experience the wonderful peace God has given us. 

God Bless. 

God's Love

I have been reminded more than ever the past few weeks of God's love for us. At church on Sunday this example was given: When you stretch out your arms, that's how much God loves you. He did that on the cross for us to save us from OUR sins. It doesn't matter how many times we've screwed up. I love the song "From the Inside Out" It goes: "A thousand times I've failed still your mercy remains....." (Hillsong). This shows me once again like I said above-it doesn't matter how many times we've failed or screwed up. God wants us and he wants ALL of us. Not just a part of us. He wants to be in love with you.
I was also reminded of God's love while reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. He loves us SO much. He knew before we were born where would go to college.
Another way I was reminded about God's love for us was in bible study. In the Heidelberg catechism it says: "Not a hair can fall from my head without the will of the Father in Heaven." He loves us so much that he know every single detail about us. Yes-he even cares about the hairs on your head. He has them numbered and knows when one hair falls out. To me, that's amazing. If God cares about a hair that falls off our heads, imagine how much he cares about things we are struggling with. I had never thought about it that way.
There are many more ways I've been shown this..but I don't want to jump all around.
I just can't get over how much he loves us! I hope that God works the same in your life.

Music

Music has been speaking to me more than it ever has. It's such a powerful thing!! I went to a Casting Crowns concert the other night and it had a huge impact on me. The song "Already There" spoke to me like none other. It talks about how God is already there where we will be. He always goes before us and I'm so thankful for that!! It's a crazy thought to me that God knows where I'm going to college and he knew it way before I was born. This thought gives me the chills. 

Another song that got me at the concert was "My Own Little World" by Matthew West. I need to get out of my world (stop thinking about myself) and see the needs of others. This is something God has immensely been showing me lately. He's put me in many situations that have made me think of how to answer questions being asked to me. I want to grow in the area of helping others in need. "What if there's a bigger picture what if I'm missing out what if there's a greater purpose I could be living right now outside my own little world" This song has really made me think. I'm thankful that God continues to show me things and put me in challenging situations. It has made me grow closer to him. 

Completion

What a promise! God is not finished with you yet. He promises he will carry onto completion the good work he began in you. This verse has helped me find my value in who God created me to be and not in what others think. It's also exciting to see God working in others. I'm just in awe of what a mighty God we serve! He's so good-all the time he is good!
Something we talked about in bible study a couple weeks was about being perfect. It doesn't mean we fail at things (since we will never be perfect), it means that God is still shaping and molding us to be more like him. He wants to mold us to use us as he wants. I just think that's a great way to look at it instead of saying you're a failure. 

Worry

In a couple posts ago I talked about the book "Crazy Love." The part I mentioned was on stress and worry. God has been showing me a lot lately that I don't need to worry. I've actually been worrying more lately than I have which I feel is God's way of showing me I need to constantly rely on him in the good and bad times. It really hit me in Crazy Love that when we worry, we are really sinning because we are telling God we don't trust him completely. I've felt so much peace this past week, especially. I need to rely FULLY on him and not just when things are rough. I need to praise him in the good times and thank him for those times. 

I was challenged through a book we are reading at youth group to get up in the morning and say to myself, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." This is something that I've been working, with the help of God. God is so good and I need to fully trust him and worrying will not happen. God's got it and I CAN'T take it back. 

My Father..

I came across this on Pinterest and I completely love it! These verses are such an encouragement.

http://christdaily.tumblr.com/

It's gives me the chills that I've messed up so many times yet God is accepting, loving, righteous, gracious, etc. This is why I need him. He died on the cross for OUR sins. The price has been paid. God is giving us the free gift of salvation. Are you going to accept it? Friends change and come and go, but God will stay the same FOREVER and he is there every single moment of everyday. 

Go shine your light for Christ!

Crazy Love

I started reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and I can't put it down-I'm addicted. There was a specific part of Chapter 2 that really hit me, so I'm going to share with you Francis Chan's wisdom.


"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."
"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control."
"Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed."
Francis Chan, Crazy Love (42).

This hit me really hard. I tend to worry a lot which leads to huge amounts of stress. I am telling myself it's okay to sin because I'm making exceptions. That's powerful. I need to let GO and LET God. It's easy to say just give your worries to God. In fact-I do, but then I find myself taking them back. I need to put my complete trust in God and I will feel so much better since I won't be stressed. Easier said than done. That's for sure. That's why I need God. I need him because I fall short all the time. Where would I be without him?

I had a conversation with someone the other day that was a part of the slap on the face I got. It's so silly to worry. I always knew it was but just the way it was said to me made a big impact. I feel so blessed to have such awesome Christian role models in my life that God definitely speaks through. 
I read chapter 2 right after the conversation I had. I was worrying and stressing about where I'm going to be in the fall. Cornerstone? Moody? GRCC? Nicaragua 2nd semester? When I gave it to God-I knew that I couldn't take it back. I have thought about these things a lot..but I need to pray for peace. Peace in the decision I make knowing that it's where God is leading me. Worrying gets me nowhere. It only makes things worse because then I start to over think the situation. I am feeling convicted as I write this because it's definitely something I struggle with, but it's also an area I've been growing in.

If you haven't read this book yet-I highly recommend it. Even though I haven't finished it, I'm addicted to it. I'm excited to see what else God shows me in this book. It's been a huge blessing so far. I pray that if you read it, that it's a blessing to you also.

2011

2011 had a lot of struggles, but a lot of amazing things happened also. 

The biggest thing the year started out with was the call I felt from God to work at SON-Life Camp. I had no idea what working there would bring because to be honest-the idea of it freaked me out going into a group of people I didn't know. Little did I know-God had way bigger plans. Ephesians 3:20 says, "Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us." As I look back on the year, this verse would be my motto for the year. After I found out I'd be working at camp, I got asked to go on a trip out west to help with 3 girls, and I also had plans in place to go to NYC on a mission trip with my youth group. Summer 2011 was going to be the best one yet!

My junior year was over and it was time to head to SON-Life Camp for Orientation. This was something I was super nervous about because I didn't know anyone. I had such mixed feelings. The week was a little hard, but as I look back I feel crazy for thinking it was hard. God was right there with me the whole time! I left for NYC right after orientation was over. That trip was amazing and eye opening in so many ways (you can ask me for more details). I came back from there and right away that next week had to work at camp. I was so exhausted and didn't know how I would get through the week with the little bit of sleep I had. I prayed so hard about it, and God kept me going! When we are weak HE is strong. I experienced that that week more than I ever have. The girls that week were so sweet. 

I got to the point where I couldn't wait to go back to camp the next week I worked. It was such an amazing feeling! My last week at camp there were so many mixed emotions. I couldn't wait to begin the week with such a wonderful group of girls. I woke up Tuesday morning and found out one of my really good friends from middle school died in a car accident. It was hard, but God held me hand through it all. Staying at camp was the best decision I ever made. I felt so supported there. 

During that week, was when I realized God's presence the most in my life. You may ask, how could I keep it together in front of campers? I don't know the answer to that-it was all God. I was in the best place. The staff at camp was amazing. When I was really torn and thinking about my friend a lot, there was always someone there to talk with, cry with, read scripture, or pray with. God works in mysterious ways! In short, it was the hardest week I've faced in a long time, yet amazing because of the people that surrounded me in this time. It's crazy to me that God knew when I applied for the job that this would all happen and those people would come around and support me. It gives me the chills. 

A week after camp I left for my trip out west which was an amazing experience (if I put details, it would be 80 pages). 

Senior year started off great. 

About a month and a half after school started-my grandma died. During that time I realized that I can't ask why, but what. What God are you going to use this situation for later on? Yes-I may not see it now and I may not until I get to Heaven. 

God showed me so many things this year (see other posts). One of the biggest things that sticks out to me is that when I believe lies about myself, I'm telling God he messed up. That hit me so hard and has helped me work through those lies. 

I hope you all have a blessed 2012! I pray that you all go out and shine your light for Christ in everything you do! God will NEVER leave or forsake you-even in the toughest times. I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life to help me along in hard times. You know who you are-and I feel so blessed to know you. Despite the struggles, I can look at the past year and see where God worked in SO many ways. Camp was a huge impact on me and I pray it was on the campers also. I am looking forward to see how God is going to use me this year. It's scary to say the least, but exciting at the same time. 

Love, 

Mallory